The term parenting sends a shiver down the spine especially if you live in a nuclear family and going to become a parent; father, mother or guardian. Parenting is not only about raising kids, feeding and sending to school. Indeed parenting is about overall development of a child. Personally I believe, if you do not have kids to raise then too being a grown up adult you are parenting neighborhood kids in one way or the other. Kids learn better from surroundings. Your persona is a reflection of your parents and you are going to transfer that persona to your own kids and the kids near you.
You need a better coach to excel in football; you need a better tutor to make good grades, you need a better job to live a decent life, right? Same way kids also have their needs and wants. Good parenting begins from womb. The way an expecting mother keeps herself makes loads of difference in the physiological and psychological build up of a child. No one is master of the game but parenting is one such game where nobody can afford to loss on the playfield. You need to be a good parent, a good mother, a good father, and a good guardian. It’s a responsibility you need to carry throughout life.
To help you in turning out a better parent, here are 10 rules of good parenting
1. Behave responsibly
Kids love copying parents. The way you behave with your family members, servants, friends and neighbors is going to make an impression in your child’s mind. You need to be passionate, loving and caring in real life. Remember your child is watching. He / she is going to repeat the similar acts later in life. You expect that your child should be a responsible person. In fact, everyone wants. But first you need to nurture good behavior and high morals in the self.
2. Do not show excessive loveYour child is the most prized assets in this world and such a treasure you will like to handle with care so you do not loss control of it. Remember love cannot be replaced with things. Often parents misunderstood, they think, giving your child everything as soon as he / she demands, is love. No, it's not love, indeed it’s a way to spoil your child. When you never say no, or do not set limits, children do not understand value of getting things. 18 year is required age to get a driving license but 18th birthday is not a compulsory day to buy a premium brand car for birthday gift. Perhaps you can afford it, but think twice before meeting your child’s demands. Meet your child’s needs not wants. Do not replace love with things.
3. Become good friend
You want to earn million-billion dollar to buy that mansion. But how much time you have for your kids. Rearrange your priorities. Reschedule your work life. Keep a balance between work and family time. Perhaps school bus is there to pick and drop your child, a help is at home to take care, a tutor is there to help in homework but all this is mechanical. Servant will serve food but not love, bus driver will drive to school but won’t talk about birds and bees. Tutor will help in assignments but will never ask about his / her school friends. No matter how much busy are you, every now and then find time to get involve with your children.
4. Keep pace with the times
Different age children have different needs and wants of parental care. Your children are growing and changing so your parenting skills should also change. Khow how age affects child’s behaviour. Your 13 year old is argumentative, what you should do. Whether you let him / her go with the flow or scold or plainly ask to stop arguments. Before you act, you have to know reasons for it, whether its behavioral or circumstantial, may be because of some stress. Before you put a remedy in place so that your child give up argumentative habits, know its reasons. Forcing your child to do or not to do a thing may result in more absurd behavior. If you are unable to understand the root cause, meet a professional.
5. Set Rules and Give Value
Often people make resolutions on New Year's Eve and forget the next day. Your kids will learn from you. Set rules for yourself and obey. Next set rules for your child and expect to obey. Give reward or punishment. A reward should not not be a mountain; a punishment should not be harsh. When your child is at mistake you can tell him, for next 3 days you won’t bring chocolate when coming back from office. A reward could be a healthy cup of homemade juice, a book or may be a game. Give your child a reason; a reason to feel accomplished.
6. The rule of three
1. Where is my child? 2. Who is with my child? 3. What he / she is doing?
Always strive to know the answer of these questions. However, you should not be strict but liberal with your child's age. With age, allow them to make own choices, however, you should be watching and when your child is in need you will be the first one to offer help.
7. Give training to be self dependent
Self dependence boost self esteem. The difference between successful and struggling is, successful people are trained in life skills. If you won’t make your child self dependent who will offer help in your absence. Every Child should know how to brew coffee or do small laundry task by age of 13. Of Course you cannot throw a basket full of dirty clothes on your child to wash but he / she should be trained enough before leaving home to college or may be for a job. You can ask your child to help in kitchen, small office works like preparing a balance sheet or car wash. Small tasks when achieved give a sense of accomplishment.
8. Stay consistent
Whatever rules you set for your child, stick to those. Your rules should not be harsh else your child shall start disobeying. You can limit TV time to 1 or 2 hours, sleep time to 7 or 8 hours, you can make it mandatory to eat healthy and carry lunch box to school. But you won’t be too harsh either. In place of homemade lunch, you can allow to buy sandwich or noodles once in a week. You can allow more hours to play video games on a Sunday. Do not change rules often, else your child will get confused. Make certain rules and stick to those. If sleep time is 8PM, lights of your child’s bedroom should go off by the time. If you are consistent, your child will adopt rules in behavior.
9. Do not punish
Harsh punishment is not the key of wisdom. Human mind is engineered to react. If you slap or punish your child at home chances are he / she will reflect same behavior in school. Always listen first and react later. Your reaction should be calculated and not instantaneous. If your child is causing mistakes, first understand reasons for it. In most of the chances you will be able to correct. In extreme conditions, you can seek professional help of a child psychologist. Nail biting is not the thing to take a child to a professional. You can explain why nails are dirty. How such habit cause diseases. If your child is violent in school or home, look what is the reason. Take correctional steps.
10. Be detail oriented
For small children, everything is a mystery, they are tend to listen. Teens are tend to react. Often problem with parents is, they over explain small once and less to teens and grownups. A 16 year old may not have understanding of a thing or situation you have at 46. Your expectations are right but to fulfill those a child need guidance. If he / she fails in your expectations, find faults in your training and take correctional steps.
You need a better coach to excel in football; you need a better tutor to make good grades, you need a better job to live a decent life, right? Same way kids also have their needs and wants. Good parenting begins from womb. The way an expecting mother keeps herself makes loads of difference in the physiological and psychological build up of a child. No one is master of the game but parenting is one such game where nobody can afford to loss on the playfield. You need to be a good parent, a good mother, a good father, and a good guardian. It’s a responsibility you need to carry throughout life.
To help you in turning out a better parent, here are 10 rules of good parenting
1. Behave responsibly
Kids love copying parents. The way you behave with your family members, servants, friends and neighbors is going to make an impression in your child’s mind. You need to be passionate, loving and caring in real life. Remember your child is watching. He / she is going to repeat the similar acts later in life. You expect that your child should be a responsible person. In fact, everyone wants. But first you need to nurture good behavior and high morals in the self.
2. Do not show excessive loveYour child is the most prized assets in this world and such a treasure you will like to handle with care so you do not loss control of it. Remember love cannot be replaced with things. Often parents misunderstood, they think, giving your child everything as soon as he / she demands, is love. No, it's not love, indeed it’s a way to spoil your child. When you never say no, or do not set limits, children do not understand value of getting things. 18 year is required age to get a driving license but 18th birthday is not a compulsory day to buy a premium brand car for birthday gift. Perhaps you can afford it, but think twice before meeting your child’s demands. Meet your child’s needs not wants. Do not replace love with things.
3. Become good friend
You want to earn million-billion dollar to buy that mansion. But how much time you have for your kids. Rearrange your priorities. Reschedule your work life. Keep a balance between work and family time. Perhaps school bus is there to pick and drop your child, a help is at home to take care, a tutor is there to help in homework but all this is mechanical. Servant will serve food but not love, bus driver will drive to school but won’t talk about birds and bees. Tutor will help in assignments but will never ask about his / her school friends. No matter how much busy are you, every now and then find time to get involve with your children.
4. Keep pace with the times
Different age children have different needs and wants of parental care. Your children are growing and changing so your parenting skills should also change. Khow how age affects child’s behaviour. Your 13 year old is argumentative, what you should do. Whether you let him / her go with the flow or scold or plainly ask to stop arguments. Before you act, you have to know reasons for it, whether its behavioral or circumstantial, may be because of some stress. Before you put a remedy in place so that your child give up argumentative habits, know its reasons. Forcing your child to do or not to do a thing may result in more absurd behavior. If you are unable to understand the root cause, meet a professional.
5. Set Rules and Give Value
Often people make resolutions on New Year's Eve and forget the next day. Your kids will learn from you. Set rules for yourself and obey. Next set rules for your child and expect to obey. Give reward or punishment. A reward should not not be a mountain; a punishment should not be harsh. When your child is at mistake you can tell him, for next 3 days you won’t bring chocolate when coming back from office. A reward could be a healthy cup of homemade juice, a book or may be a game. Give your child a reason; a reason to feel accomplished.
6. The rule of three
1. Where is my child? 2. Who is with my child? 3. What he / she is doing?
Always strive to know the answer of these questions. However, you should not be strict but liberal with your child's age. With age, allow them to make own choices, however, you should be watching and when your child is in need you will be the first one to offer help.
7. Give training to be self dependent
Self dependence boost self esteem. The difference between successful and struggling is, successful people are trained in life skills. If you won’t make your child self dependent who will offer help in your absence. Every Child should know how to brew coffee or do small laundry task by age of 13. Of Course you cannot throw a basket full of dirty clothes on your child to wash but he / she should be trained enough before leaving home to college or may be for a job. You can ask your child to help in kitchen, small office works like preparing a balance sheet or car wash. Small tasks when achieved give a sense of accomplishment.
8. Stay consistent
Whatever rules you set for your child, stick to those. Your rules should not be harsh else your child shall start disobeying. You can limit TV time to 1 or 2 hours, sleep time to 7 or 8 hours, you can make it mandatory to eat healthy and carry lunch box to school. But you won’t be too harsh either. In place of homemade lunch, you can allow to buy sandwich or noodles once in a week. You can allow more hours to play video games on a Sunday. Do not change rules often, else your child will get confused. Make certain rules and stick to those. If sleep time is 8PM, lights of your child’s bedroom should go off by the time. If you are consistent, your child will adopt rules in behavior.
9. Do not punish
Harsh punishment is not the key of wisdom. Human mind is engineered to react. If you slap or punish your child at home chances are he / she will reflect same behavior in school. Always listen first and react later. Your reaction should be calculated and not instantaneous. If your child is causing mistakes, first understand reasons for it. In most of the chances you will be able to correct. In extreme conditions, you can seek professional help of a child psychologist. Nail biting is not the thing to take a child to a professional. You can explain why nails are dirty. How such habit cause diseases. If your child is violent in school or home, look what is the reason. Take correctional steps.
10. Be detail oriented
For small children, everything is a mystery, they are tend to listen. Teens are tend to react. Often problem with parents is, they over explain small once and less to teens and grownups. A 16 year old may not have understanding of a thing or situation you have at 46. Your expectations are right but to fulfill those a child need guidance. If he / she fails in your expectations, find faults in your training and take correctional steps.
Comments